


Articulate Ray's Evil Eyes (I didn't choose it, if you were wondering.)

by The_Optimist



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: M/M, Not serious at all, Ray dies, all the guys - Freeform, also, apart from Jack and Geoff, but only mentioned mostly, i guess, twilight jokes, who are as insane as I am
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-17
Updated: 2015-01-17
Packaged: 2018-03-07 23:54:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3188003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Optimist/pseuds/The_Optimist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Go to http://www.plot-generator.org.uk, and then choose any number between one and eleven. Now go that many numbers down the list of themes, and this is how you generate your plot.<br/>Choose a fandom, then write a story including the plot line given to you. Have fun. ;)<br/>(You can change the names dependent on your fandom, and also, you need to make the generated name the story title.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Articulate Ray's Evil Eyes (I didn't choose it, if you were wondering.)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Captain_You_Got_No_Swag](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_You_Got_No_Swag/gifts).



> Ryan Haywood suspected something was a little off when his wild doctor tried to shoot him when he was just six years old. Nevertheless, he lived a relatively normal life among other humans.
> 
> It wasn't until he bumped into the devilishly articulate vampire, Ray Narvaez, that his life finally began to make sense.
> 
> However, Ray proved to be ruddy and seemed to have an unhealthy obsession with loving. Ryan soon learnt that Ray had taken an oath never to bite a human being.
> 
> When Ryan's wild doctor is injured in a pointless accident, Ryan realises his own life is at risk.
> 
> Despite Ray's evil eyes and fish-like tail, Ryan finds himself falling for the vampire. Only fate will decided whether he kills or protects him.
> 
> One night, a wizard appears before Ryan and warns him of a darkness within Ray. The wizard gives Ryan the ribbed paperweight - the only weapon that can defeat an articulate vampire.
> 
> Will Ryan find it in himself to kill the only creature who has ever made him feel truly on edge? (Hint: yes!)
> 
> ~~~
> 
> That was the prompt I got. God damnit.

"But mom, I  _really_ don't need to see the doctor!" Ryan insisted as his mother pulled him along. Secretly, he was terrified of the man, Dr Ramsey, who's breath always stank of alcohol and who acted like a madman.

"It'll be fine James, stop worrying. Dr Ramsey is a very nice man, and the family has been with him for close to ten years now." His mother reasoned, but Ryan could not be persuaded.

"Mom!" He tried again, but she cut him off with a look.

"Don't make a scene." She hissed as they entered the doctor's office, and where soon guided to Dr Ramsey's room. 

"Why hello there, uh, James." His mother lead him in the room, before waving at Dr Ramsey and quickly leaving again.

"Hi..." He mumbled, looking down at his hands.

"Will your mother be gone long?" He asked, and Ryan noticed he seemed much calmer than usual. He looked up to see Dr Ramsey's eyes had turned icy, with a menacing hint of evil in them.

"Umm, I think she was going to work. Dad's going to pick me up." He shivered as the doctor's eyes lit up.

"Good." [A/N: I decided this was too serious for a Ryan killing Ray in the name of a paper weight, so from here on out everything goes completely bonkers.]

Dr Ramsey pulled out a nerf gun, aiming it right at Ryan. "HUZZAH!" He yelled, shooting foam bullets at the terrified six year old.

A woman came running into the room, and began shouting at Dr Ramsey to stop. He giggled, and she removed his nerf gun. "You're like a man child sometimes, I swear..." 

Ryan ran from the room, and did't return for six months, when his mother dragged him back for another check up.

~~~

Like, 25 years later or some shit, I don't know.

~~~

Ryan was walking down the street, carefully watching the sky as dark clouds began to roll in. "It's going to be really dreak later." Comment Gavin, who was walking with Ryan, also looking up at the sky.

"What, that isn't even a real word! What does that even mean?" He asked, laughing at how stupid Gavin's vocabulary was.

"Of course it's a real word you mong! You're just being a little spif and pretending like I haven't explained this to you before!" Gavin squawked and Ryan laughed harder.

Gavin glared at him. "I'm getting a muffin." He grumbled, before leaving Ryan standing in the street, and entering the shop to their left. Ryan was about to follow him, but instead walked straight into a guy who had been standing there the entire time but who Ryan hadn't seen for the sake of the story's continuation. 

"Oh, sorry man." Ryan apologised, but looked up to see the most beautiful evil looking eyes he'd ever seen.

"Ah, it's fine dude. You see, I can't walk as I have a fish tale, so I shouldn't even be stood on the side of the street, because it's physically impossible for me to be here, but oh well." He held out a hand. "I'm Ray by the way. I'm articulate."

Ryan frowned in confusion. "Isn't everyone articulate. Oh, and also, you have seriously cool eyes that I'm going to tell you about every time I meet you and I don't care about your fish tale because you have eyes." 

Ray grinned. "Whoop! By the way, I'm a vampire."

Ryan smiled at him. "Yay, now let us fall in love and communicate our love entirely in stares!"

They grabbed hands, and Ray turned to look at Ryan. "Okay! Now carry me my dear, for I still cannot walk!"

~~~

What am I doing with my life? (Like my twilight jokes?)

~~~

Ryan looked at Ray, who's face suddenly appeared to be red. "What's wrong with your face?" He asked. 

"I get ruddy around hot men." Ray replied, and afterwards they had, like, twilight levels of hot sex, which is so hot I can't even talk about it without your brains being fucked out from where you've read the page.

After a few days of this, Ryan questioned Ray on his obsession with Ryan. "So, is this an obsession or a weird vampire thing? And also, why don't you bite me and suck my blood?"

Ray sat up from where he was playing his DS on the couch between rounds of hot fish tail sex.

"I have an unhealthy obsession with love. Oh, and I made an oath not to bite humans, because I'm a nice guy."

"That's nice dear." Ryan replied, patting Rays's head, and getting some food.

Ryan entered the kitchen, where his phone rang. Ryan moved over and picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hello you bloody prick, you left me at-" Ryan hung up, because duh, Gavin is unimportant in this story and I definitely didn't run out of English slang words. Also, don't question the fact that I ran out and live in the Uk.

Ryan was about to return to Ray with his food when his phone rang again. "Hello?" He answered.

"You hung up on-!" Ryan hung up again, and began to leave the kitchen when his phone rang again. "Hello?" 

"Mr Haywood? I was told to inform you by Dr Ramsey, that Dr Ramsey was in a cat falling out a tree accident. He happened to be walking out a tree when a bird suddenly turned into a lion and mauled him nearly to death. He's lucky to be alive."

"Oh, that's nice. Thank you." Ryan hung up, and returned to Ray, where more awesomely hot sex occurred. Like, there was so much. It's really annoying me now, they're like fucking rabbits. Get it? 'Cause they're fucking? Never mind...

Somehow, a few days later, Ryan remembers his phone call with the lady. "Oh my Ray, my life is unexplainably in danger!" 

"How do you know Ryan?" His boyfriend asked.

"My Doctor, Dr Ramsey was attacked by a bird that turned into a lion and fell out a tree. That obviously means someone is after me!" 

"Alright," Ray replied, "let's go to my safe house in the woods, where while we wait for you to become safe, we can fuck all day long!" 

"Great idea!" Replied Ryan, who really questioned the author's sanity, and if maybe she was exploiting Ray's unhealthy obsession with love. Like, a lot.

So the two headed out to the woods, and on the way there, there was road head, bad puns, hanging up on Gavin, more bad puns, and singing along to stupid fucking songs. "Ray," Ryan had started, "I am completely in love with you, your fish tale, and evil eyes."

"Aww, thanks Ryan. Love you too!" Ray replied, as he pulled up outside some nice house. "Here we are!"

Later that night, while Ray is out hunting, a magical wizard pops up in the kitchen. "Hello Ryan! I am the magical wizard from beyond the fourth wall! The author tells me, to tell you, that she is sorry, and that she will make you kill Ray be the force of nobody-has-free-will-in-this-world-not-even-the-wizard." He stepped forward. "This is the tool you shall do it with!" 

The magical wizard, who's name was suddenly supplied to Ryan as 'Jack', gave Ryan a ribbed paperweight, and leans forward. "Ray has a darkness inside him. It's name is Michael, and it is going to kill you. Possibly from an STD, but still, going to kill you! A ribbed paperweight is the only way to kill an articulate vampire, and if you don't kill him before the next time you do-the-do, then you will die!"

"Okay... I... it pains me to do this, but the author is making me. I'll kill Ray." Ryan sighed, glaring at the paperweight. The wizard nodded.

"Have fun!" He then suddenly disappeared. A few seconds later, Ray came in the back door, and into the kitchen.

"Hey hun!" He greeted.

"Hi... Ray..." Ryan turned slowly, and Ray gasped.

"W-where did you get that? Ryan?" Ryan looked up, and Ray began to cry.

"I'm sorry. I love you, I just... I can't get an STD!" Ryan began to cry also, and Ray let out a scream of no, as Ryan plunged the paperweight into his heart. 

The vampire gurgled, black blood spilling from his mouth. Ryan caught him, and lowered him to the ground, resting his head in his lap. "I'm sorry Ray."

 

THE END! 

 

XD


End file.
